So I arrived in NY and checked into the Drake Hotel (only because when I made the booking there were no rooms available at the Regency), and behold, the room is fit only to cripple cockroaches, it’s that small. I am depressed. I mean, it’s clean, yes, I get Swissair miles, yes, Raffles group has taken over the place, yes….but the room where I’m staying is so small that even Peter’s mum would declare it “wee with extreme prejudice”.
…You have to understand Northern Irish people to get this joke. “Wee” doesn’t invariably have anything to do with size in that part of the world. It’s an affectionate diminutive, like the Schwiiiizerdeutsch “-li”. It gets hooked to everything you like or feel warmly toward. If NASA had more Northern Irish people in it, they would genuinely say things like, “That’s a grand wee Space Shuttle you’ve got there.” Or in the Navy, “That’s a bonny wee aircraft carrier, that Enterprise.”
Whereas this room was just…small.
Okay, so I had just spent four days in the Beverly Hills Hotel. The whole room there was three-quarters the size of my house. I even had my own garden! (If I’d been willing to drop $2700 a night, I could have had my own pool; the Presidential Bungalow out in the grounds has that.) I’m aware of the differences in ground space available to even a good hotel in NY as opposed to LA. But this…this was just too small. And no broadband: Geektels, take note.
So I wandered down Park Avenue, presented myself at the desk at the Regency, and asked if they’d had any cancellations. O Joy, they had. I checked out of the Drake around lunchtime today, rolled my stuff down the Avenue, checked in, dropped my bags, and went off for a leisurely lunch down at the Brasserie (53rd and Park: check out the onion soup).
Went down to the Library Bar and spent a little while attempting to get Ryoh-Ohki and Ken-Ohki to communicate. (No joy tonight. Ryoh-Ohki won’t boot. Don’t ask me why.) But returned to the room to find waiting for me…guess what?
A big bottle of red wine, and a big bowl of pretzels.
Thank you, Stuart. I needed that. 🙂
Do you guys ever do anything but look after your guests? — No, let me find another way to phrase that…
Or not.
Meanwhile, in the Strange Bicoastal Inversions department: Did I see a single celebrity in the Polo Lounge, while walking the streets of BH 90210, while down by the pool at the hotel? Not a one. But last night, in the Italian place around the corner from the Regency, Bill Murray walked by me (followed by a troupe of ladies he was taking out for a snack). This afternoon, Larry King and his kids were in the lobbt of the Regency as I came in, preparing for dinner.
I love NY…
